31.3.09

Expecting

Was away from blogging because something quite important and remarkable happened.

We got pregnant. Waaahhh!!! This DINK will no longer be that soon. If all things go well.

I write this with caution because this whole adventure didn't start out as smoothly and as joyfully as I would've wanted it to.

Flashback to last Monday, day after the Condura Run. I woke up at 630am to take a home pregnancy test because my period was delayed. The previous week I took two home tests which were both negative.

The test was negative again. I left the kit on the bathroom sink and went back to sleep. Around 10am I woke up and went to the bathroom to pee. From 630 to 10am, I had a really short but significant dream. In my dream, I saw two lines on the pregnancy kit. And I was so horrified I cursed "sh_t" under my breath.

At 10am, I check the strip and lo ang behold, there was a second faint but real line. Sh_t! Just as in my dream! Wow. I felt cold all over. I wasn't ready for that.

In the nine years we've been married, C and I have been very careful about not getting pregnant. We were planning to finally try next year. Why did we postpone for so long? It's difficult to explain. For one, we were happy just being a couple. We liked our routines, our activities. Next year was going to be the year we seriously consider having a baby. Next year.

So when I saw that faint second line, it felt like a wave had crashed over me. I felt I wasn't ready. I felt confused.

Some details are hazy now but I know one of the first things I did was google pregnancy tests and their accuracy and what a faint second line meant. I know that in the middle of all that panic I had told C who was extremely excited at the onset.

I bought another kit for using the next day. Tuesday morning, still the same result. Waaahhh!!! Tuesday afternoon, the same. Tuesday night I still went to the Nike Running Clinic in Ultra. But I told the coaches and was advised to take it easy. I did.

Wednesday afternoon I met up with my good friend who teaches English in Xavier. She was one of the first persons I had shared the news with. I knew she would understand how I felt because her first pregnancy also caught her by surprise and according to her, it was only in her fifth month when she finally grew to accept the situation.

My friend had a co-teacher who was also an Ob-Gyne so we decided to show him my collection of pregnancy kits. He said my results were ambivalent and the best way to really confirm was through a blood test or a beta hCG test.

I would've wanted to get the blood test done that very same day but chickened out and waited for C to be able to go with me for the test.

On Thursday we went to St. Luke's for the beta hCG test and my hCG level was above normal, meaning I was pregnant!

That evening we went for an ultrasound and they couldn't find anything. There was an existing myoma that I already knew of and an unknown mass outside the uterus which I had not been aware of till then. This got the doctors (and us) worried because they were dating my pregnancy to be at 7 weeks, based on the first day of my last menstrual period. By that time, they should be able to see the gestational sac in the uterus. Not finding anything in the uterus, and seeing that unknown mass outside the uterus, made them suspect I had an ectopic pregnancy (the embryo implanted in either the fallopian tube or cervix). Something they needed to operate on because no ectopic pregnancy could ever proceed normally.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster. We felt so bad. And we started worrying too about expenses. People were telling us that the surgery for ectopic pregnancies would cost more than what a birth by C-section would cost. How sad to spend so much and go home empty-handed.

By this time we had started telling our parents. We were trying to keep it to ourselves at first because we didn't want them to worry and we also didn't want to get "hysterical" reactions like frantic pray-overs. Don't get me wrong. I think pray-overs are good. Prayer is very important and we believe in prayer. I just don't like it when people become very emotional when praying over me. I prefer just simple, heartfelt and happy prayer. No gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair for me please. :)

Fortunately, there were no such hysterics from our families. They were all calm and just committed to praying with us during the wait.

Friday we went for another blood test in St. Luke's and then went to see a doctor in Cardinal. Recommended by my aunt who had a difficult pregnancy. My hCG level had doubled as expected if you are truly pregnant. They made me go through another ultrasound and they still couldn't find anything in the uterus.

You can't imagine the feeling of being poked around and being pricked by a needle so many times, and still have no idea what is wrong/or right with you. It was terrifying. I am so thankful that C was there beside me every step of the way. We'd laugh, we'd cry, we'd pray and eat our anxieties away. We had become fond of the pancit in St. Luke's Sweet Tomato Cafe. :)

The doctor in Cardinal told us to get another blood test and another ultrasound on Monday.

Monday, another blood test. Let me note that these blood tests are done at 630am so we can have my results by 11am, in time to see the doctor. We'd get up at 530am, wash up, get dressed, drive to St. Luke's, get the blood drawn and go home to get some more sleep before we headed back to the hospital again at 11am.

My hCG level had tripled, as expected still. The doctor in St. Luke's who was out of town when this whole thing had started was back. We set an appointment to meet her after I got my ultrasound results. At the ultrasound, the first doctor who examined me couldn't find anything again. This made me weepy but I bit my lip and held back the tears. She called a more serious doctor and I swear I want to go back and give that doctor in a yellow outfit a great big hug. She found something!!! She found a "gestational sac-like structure" in the uterus!!! :) Our first glimpse of our little one!

It's still too early to tell but when we met with our St. Luke's ob, she was quite confident that that was it. :) We will know for sure in two weeks because the embryo grows in millimeters only. But excited parents-to-be that we are, we are scheduled for another ultrasound this Saturday. We've become such veterans at this.

I forgot to mention, it was my birthday yesterday, Monday. My only prayer was to know. And God answered my prayer, even partly. It was such a special gift to see that gestational sac on my birthday. And to think the first doctor couldn't find anything at first. Our baby's a shy one, like her mom. :)

Will keep you posted as things progress. Keep us in your prayers.

In writing this entry, I took a nap twice and ate a big plate of fresh pineapples. I am thankful that so far I show no signs of the horrible morning sickness associated with the early stages of pregnancy. I am hoping I'm one of the fortunate ones who breeze through pregnancy. I rarely had menstrual cramps and I attributed it to eating healthy and exercising regularly. I hope that helps too in keeping morning sickness away.

Except for the more frequent (and severe) hunger pangs, bouts of sleepiness and really full boobs (hahaha!), I am perfectly fine. Thank God! It's wonderful having someone "tag along" in everything I do. I'm excited and no longer fearful of having kids.

Will leave now for Ultra for a really slow jog. C is very protective and insists that I just walk. But so many articles I've read say that if a pregnant woman has been running way long before she got pregnant, she can continue doing so (just not to the point of exhaustion) for as long as it is comfortable for her. And heck, I ran 10K before I knew I was pregnant!

I don't want to stop exercising. I think it will benefit me and the baby if I continue. I want my baby to fall in love with running too, when the time comes. :)

That's all for now from this preggers! Thanks for reading!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

dunno what to say to mothers-to-be except hope all goes well from now on :)

makes coffee nervous said...

thank you anon. that is so kind of you. :)

GINA said...

oh my God!!! oh my God!!! this is such wonderful news! congratulations!!

erm, can i mention this to the psfr girls? after all, they were your teammates too. thess would be so happy! matagal na nyang gustong magka-baby ka.

only if you want me to mention it, ha. =)

congratulations again! motherhood is a wonderful thing. don't know when i plan to have a baby, but i'd love to have a kid someday. =) =)

grabe i'm some kinda speechless! this is so amazing.

makes coffee nervous said...

hey gina girl! as a matter of fact, thess and malou know (and ms. let whom i consulted about taking paracetamol when i was just suspecting i was pregnant). i just asked them to be quiet about it till everything's proceeding okay. :)

of course thess was ecstatic. she's been pestering me to have a baby since five years ago!!! hahaha! :)

will definitely ask thess and you to tell the other unicef folks (abe comes to mind and ms. baby) soon as the doc really says go! :)

thanks for being excited about it with us! it's an awesome thing! my best birthday gift so far!

Anonymous said...

My God Sis!! After your text, dina ko mapakali sa sobrang shock at excited ako sa mga results lahat ng test na gagawin mo...Binalita ko agad kay labidudz kaya tuwang-tuwa rin sya. Dont worry dude! Like we said..."Period"!!! Walang makaka-erase na nyan...coz tuloy-tuloy nayan sis. Im so happy for you...nai-imagine kona kung gano ka-protective si manong c hahaha...im sure hanggang likod ang ngiti nya lagi hahahah!! Na-miss tuloy lalo kitang bruha ka!! Excited akong makita kitang naka-maternity dress at rarampa hehehe. Blessing yan sis..yan ang pinaka-magandang birthday gift sayo ni Lord. Naalala ko nung bday ko last Nov 2007,before ng bday ko naka-sched ako for ultrasound then at the same time makikita konarin kung anong gender ng baby diba? Grabe dasal ko na sana ibigay sakin ni Lord "girl" naman ngayon, bday gift nalang nya sakin yun...yung inaanak mopa ang kasama ko sa loob na-late kasi ang tatay ng dating...kaya yung inaanak mo ang excited sobra..then finally...."girl" nga!! Sobrang tawanan naming mag-ina..nakita pa namin kumakaway hehe. Then text kita agad that day... Kaya ingat ka lagi ha. Sobrang happy talaga ako sa inyong mag-asawa. Take care sis. ---teks

makes coffee nervous said...

hahaha! super thank you, teks! grabe, parang natalo mo pa kami sa excitement ah! hahaha! :)

yes, i remember when you texted about your ultrasound results. don't worry, ako din, i'll text you soon as i find out.

and since you've discovered this blog, i can update you through this! :)

thank you for your prayers and for all the love you are sending our way. back at you! hugs!