Rafa fell asleep just 30 minutes ago. I breastfed him and gave him some formula. Hoping he will sleep longer tonight.

Last night he woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep. We blame it on the milk tea I had that afternoon. Argh. I just can't resist it sometimes.

Today was a good day. Rafa wasn't as cranky as yesterday and we had friends over for lunch. It was good to have adult conversation for a change. Hahaha.

Having a baby really changes you. Tonight, as C was changing Rafa's nappy, I told C that I miss being tan. I was looking at my new nail color and remembered the days I was so dark. Then I asked C if it was still okay for me to be thinking of being tan, now that I'm a mom. Thankfully he said yes.

I guess I'm still getting used to being a mom and still trying to find a balance between being a mom and being my own person.

Just wanted to put these thoughts down before I went to bed.

Rafa, if you are reading this (as someday I hope you will), I hope you know how much we love you.


Rafael Vito is here!

Hello! I've been away from this blog for so long!

Right now Rafael is sleeping so I'm sneaking in some blogging time.

He is 4 months today! The bottom picture was taken just today. It is true, babies grow up so fast.

First of all, thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Everyday C and I marvel at this little one the Lord has given us. Sometimes I still can't believe he is finally here and we can hold him, hug him and kiss him endlessly. Oh he loves being kissed! :) He is such a sweet baby.

Someday I will write about my birth story. C took a lot of pictures. But let me just say this. I had a 20-hour labor! Imagine that! But it was almost painless as I had an epidural. I know... Why, right? Well I had prepared (and paid good money) for a drug-free birth but my OB just wouldn't hear of it. She said I'd be too tired bearing with the contractions I'd have no energy to push.

So anyway... Four months on the job and I have learned one important thing. Don't judge. Moms, especially. We all make choices (to breastfeed or not, to co-sleep or not, to use a walker or not) and some are really tough choices and we just don't deserve judgment. We all try our best.

I'm happy to say I am still able to breastfeed Rafael. It was exclusive for three months and two weeks then I had to supplement as my supply was dipping drastically. I blame it on a dip in hormones, as evidenced by my amazing falling hair.

By the way... we named him Rafael Vito. Rafael or Rafa is one of God's names. It means God heals. Vito means life.

So what else can I share right now? Oh! He loves it when we walk and he's in his sling. I will post a picture of us in action one of these days.

He can grasp his rattle now and has also started taking steps. I know. How fast, right? He's a strong baby and he's been trying to stand as early as his first month I think. Our homeopath says it's because of the supplements I took while I was pregnant.

He loves conversations and gets cranky when no one talks to him. His poo smells bad now that he's taking formula. Haha.

That's about it for now. Oh! He loves it when I sing to him. Believe me. When I'm breastfeeding and I sing, he'll stop, unlatch and just look at me. Awww.. Someone thinks I sing well. Only person in the world who does. Hahaha.

Talk to you soon.