Dealing With Stress

I am officially an ''employer". I'm a "boss" to two full-time sewers and a part-time patternmaker. And I'm scared witless.

I have to balance work and warm relations with two types of people. One is older, a bit slow, with a penchant for chatting and little breaks to put some smelly chinese paste on her aching legs. Hahaha. The other one is younger, up-at-the-crack-of-dawn-type, fast (a long-sleeves top in 2 hours) and all-work (you have to drag her away from the sewing machine at lunch time). Thank God the patternmaker is a middle-aged man with a steady personality and who works very fast.

I was so stressed this morning because I had to make sure I had work lined up for Sewer #2 while also considering a not-so-rush project for Sewer #1 to start on when she's done with a not-so-rush skirt she has been working on for three days. Hahaha. It's driving me insane.

Maybe I'm also just driving myself insane by focusing too much.

Here's how I dealt with the stress:

1. I prayed. As soon as I got back from the patternmaker, I plopped on the bed, closed my eyes and prayed. A lot of things are beyond my control. Sometimes the patternmaker can't finish everything on time. Or a fitting gets rescheduled. Or one of the sewers (or both) would have their own personal issues... It's good to lift things up to Him who sees the whole picture.

2. I had lunch. Haha. Cannot function well on an empty tummy.

3. I physically and mentally moved away from the issues bugging me. I checked Facebook. I checked Caroline's blog. I tweeted and then I wrote here. It helps me a lot to unfocus for a while because when I turn my attention back to the issues, they suddenly don't seem so overwhelming at all.

Now I'm back on track. With a little help from a cup of coffee. :) Hope you are having a wonderful day! It feels like Monday all over again! Hahaha!

The Hairdryer Ate My Hair

Yes the hairdryer ate my hair. The few times I treat myself to a blowout and I lose a clump of hair. Woe is me. Haha. The art of being clumsy.

There was that time at a store opening in Tagaytay. The store featured Christmas decor and there were so many people milling about and so little space. And so many cute little things to buy and bump into.

C was in the washroom when I dropped a box of spoons and forks. It fell to the floor in a loud thud. Thankfully the box didn't spill out its contents or else it would've been a thud and a splatter.

When C came out (and the box had been put back in its place and I had decided to just sit it out on a big sofa far from anything I might topple over), he told me that when he heard the loud thud, his immediate thought was that it was me. Hahaha. Talk about really knowing your spouse, eh?

I'm clumsy and absentminded enough that every time I step out of the car, C has to say "watch your head". Because, yes, we've lost count of the times I've bumped my head or bruised my shin as I'm getting out of the car. I also bump my head on the wall while leaning back in bed.

And how many times have I hit my forehead on a store glass window while leaning forward, totally mesmerized with merchandise on display. It's insane.

Haha. That's that for clumsy today.

The Row Video

It's been a really HECTIC start of the week!!! All because we have a new sewer! She is FAST! Now we can take on more jobs! I've been busy buying fabric and preparing sketches for client meetings next week. Soooo stoked!

Haven't been able to post A Year In The Life photos. Will do soon. Meantime, here's a toast to those days when you just can't decide what to wear!!!

P.S. I've finally decided to buy a new pair of jeans. Nothing fits but these old, tattered 501s and they make me look homeless. Talk about a distressing pair of distressed jeans. Hahaha.

P.P.S. A good friend invited me to go surfing this weekend. Her friend has a new surfing school. I sooo wanted to go and thought about it overnight. Although C says it's okay, I decided to do the responsible thing and pass up on it. Maybe in two weeks, if we're not pregnant yet by then. :) Surfing momma! Woot!

The Row by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

A Happy Weekend Indeed

I am sooo tired. Hahaha. And I'm so thankful it's not because of LIT. Thank You Lord for the break.

We started with patternmaking class this afternoon. Had to rush home after church because I'm taking the class with C's officemate. I really don't want to face this challenge alone.

So happy to learn something new but wow, talk about brain overheating. I could almost hear my brain sizzling with all the computations and spots to mark. But I'm definitely determined to learn this.

So very happy too that I got a morning text from a client who said she absolutely loves the dress we made for her. She's excited to go to this wedding because of the dress she'll be wearing. Awwww... That is the best thing to hear. :)

Also, Kim said her coat is finally right (after several revisions, sorry Kim!). I'm hoping she will really enjoy that coat. :)

Tomorrow I'm off to meet a client in the morning then acupuncture in the afternoon. Then patternmaking practice. Yay! Good end to a week and good start to another. Thank You Lord!

A Year In The Life: 20 and 21 February

For the first time in long, long time, we're having a relaxed, blood extraction and injection-free weekend. Thank You Lord!

A Year In The Life: 19 February

Need I say I more?

A Year In The Life: 18 February

Someone s(h)at here. Hehehe.

Our little veranda is a favorite spot of some really noisy and "show-off" birds. They wake us in the morning with their noisy chatter and what we call their "song showdown". You just know they're showing off because the song is long and complex and they seem to be taking turns at the mic! I recorded a solo performance one time on my phone but I need to figure out how to upload it here. It is amazing and such a blessing to hear.

A Year In The Life: 17 February

Do you see the three red dots on my forearm? Those are my latest lymphocyte immunotherapy (LIT) shots. The most painful of the three sessions I've had so far.

This morning just before I took a shower, I noticed some pain close to my underarm. I'm thinking it must be from the lymph node there. You notice every single thing when you are THIS focused on keeping healthy and fit for LIT.

My first thought was: "Yay, the injections must be working!"

I think I am hard-wired to always see the glass half-full.

I'm not saying I don't get sad or that I don't ever feel defeated. I wept a little this morning while chatting with a friend who also has the same immune issue as mine.

I guess I'm the type of person who falls into a pit of despair but manages to look up and see there's a way out, no matter how far up. I can't help but hope.

I think it's because I have seen God's faithfulness in my life and in the lives of so many people around me. I have 20 years of stories of God's goodness (I met the Lord in high school). I know it may be cheesy to a lot of people. But to me, this is what's true. For me, that is the only truth.

I'm terribly sad right now and finished half a bar of Toblerone this morning just to cheer up. But somehow through the haze of sadness I just know there is a good story to tell in the future. That's why I write about this, no matter how embarrassed I am sometimes.

That's just that today. Thank you for reading.

LIT and LAT Update

Seems we'll have to hold off on our baby-making plans for a few more weeks.

Lab emailed the results and they remain unchanged. Still negative reaction to other lymphocytes.

Sad? Yes of course. Hopeless? Not really.

C reasons we took the blood test only a week after our second LIT. Maybe the change doesn't manifest till later. We've had another LIT after the blood test so maybe that changed things a bit. We need another LAT.

But acupuncturist says go ahead already. Will show her the lab test results on Thursday and ask again.

Sad? Yes. Very. But thanking the Lord still for everything, setback included.

A Year In The Life: 16 February

Breakfast fruit: sweet, organically-grown strawberries. Have some fresh fruit at least 20 minutes before a meal, to prep your tummy (and your taste buds). Have a great day!

Caroline's 14 Items, 14 Looks (aka the coolest online contest there is)

In a shopping bind? Budget-conscious? Not sure what key items to add to your wardrobe this season? Fret no more and check the score: 14 key pieces translated into 14 new looks.

This is my favorite look:

Caroline, I should win this look because:

• The striped tee is perfect for a soon-to-be pregnant, but still funky girl like me.
• I can wear heels all day and run in them. Even if I just work from home!
• The hoodie is perfect for fashionable, early morning walks to the bakery, and breakfast dates with my hubby!
• I've never had a leather jacket and even though I live in a tropical country, I spend a lot of time in movie theaters with freezing temps. The leather jacket would keep me toasty and happy and would remind me all year-round of how cool you and your site are! :)
• And last but not least, if you ever come visit sunny Manila, I will take you around and let you sample our yummy food and show you some of the best summer spots that will keep you coming back every year!

Please pick me!!! :) It will be a very early baby shower gift! :)

Decor8

I have a new favorite online haunt: decor8blog.com.

Saw this today and I wish I can repaint the house soon. Right now I'm dreaming of off-white, light blue and warm gray as our new wall colors. And a small touch of lemon. :)

When we had the house repainted in '06 (I had just quit UNICEF!), I was inspired by a picture of a Jamaican house. So our wall colors now are yellow, orange, and different shades of blue. I think the crazy colors help us get away with bare walls. Would be nice to have a more "grown-up" color theme next time. And some wall hangings.

image from www.decor8blog.com

Acupuncture Session 5

I just came from my fifth acupuncture session. It's good to go on a Monday. The place was almost empty and I was led to a cubicle soon as I got in.

Sister Liu seems less rushed too and I had time to ask her some questions. When she asked me to stick out my tongue (every session starts with Sister Liu checking your tongue), I asked if I looked healthier and she said yes. Yehey! I'm so happy. I do feel healthier. Thank You Lord.

She asked about my period and asked when I was going to see my OB. Our OB didn't tell us to see her before getting pregnant again so I guess we don't need to go. Although I kinda want to go. C says he thinks there's nothing the OB can do until we get a positive pregnancy kit. What do you think? Ah well. Praying for wisdom in this area.

The needles on my head hurt a bit last Saturday. I think it was because C made me laugh. He can't help it sometimes. He's just funny without even trying. Today I hardly felt the needles. Maybe best to go to acupuncture alone after all. Haha.

The acupuncture cubicles remind me somehow of a confessional. You can hear Sister Liu asking questions and sometimes you catch what the patients are saying. I notice old men have a hard time talking softly. The whole place has no choice but to hear about their ailments, and even regularity of bowel movements! Hahahaha!

In the cubicle next to mine today was a girl who was there to be treated for infertility. I caught the words IVF and progesterone in her conversation with Sister Liu. I felt for her. I think it's tough to miscarry but I can't even begin to imagine how so much more frustrating it feels when you can't get pregnant. Sister Liu, our immunologist and even the staff at the lab all say we're fortunate that we get pregnant naturally. I know that is a blessing. But I also don't want to be just a "pregnancy factory" producing "defects". I don't know if you understand what I'm saying. Ah well.

In the cubicle I was in, there was a small framed picture of Anne Geddes babies. I tried to imagine which one of those babies would look like our baby (God-willing) and I zeroed in on the chubby sleepy head. Haha. She seemed the most comfy and relaxed.

No word yet from the lab on our LAT results. The suspense is killing me. Although C is kinda inclined to try already. We'll see. Praying for wisdom and patience.

A Year In The Life: 15 February

Earrings that C gave a long time ago. I thought I had lost them. Found them recently in the pocket of a bag I haven't used in a while. Haha.

Moss

Just when I'm getting used to my weight and rotundness, I see this. How old is she? Argh.

C wants me to buy new jeans (because I can't button up my old ones, what with my big butt) but I'm not about to give-up my old clothes. They'll just have to be kept out of service for a while (a few months? a year?). I'll get back to wearing them when I'm ready to lose the weight. Naks. Hahaha. Nervous laughter.

image from fashiongirl.feber.se

3rd LIT (and 4th Acupuncture) Session

We had a very long day yesterday.

In the morning, around 8am, we went to Manila Endocrine Lab in Pedro Gil for C's blood extraction. We were to go to Dr. Aleta's clinic on Taft at 2pm for my injections.

After C's blood extraction, we went home to sleep some more and have lunch. For anyone reading this who is going through or about to go through LIT, please remember that your body needs to be in tip-top shape when you get the injections. If your body is fighting off flu, for example, chances are it won't react well to the lymphocytes injected. That's what Dr. Aleta told us. And I remember that when we had our first LIT, I had slight fever and the injection spots didn't itch as much (itchiness indicating the therapy is working). With the second LIT (when I was feeling well), the injection spots felt really itchy.

It's also important that the husband or donor gets enough sleep the night before. Lack of sleep, according to the people in the lab, can make blood extraction difficult.

At 2pm we were at Dr. Aleta's clinic. There was a very long line. She wasn't holding clinic that day at St. Luke's so all her patients were combined in the Taft clinic.

The vials arrived at 3:30pm. This batch of injections hurt more than the previous two. I nearly cried but took a hold of myself. For the baby, I said in my mind. It was really THAT painful because I have a very high tolerance for pain. Dr. Aleta said she was trying to avoid major veins, or else I'll just pee out the lymphocytes.

After LIT, we rushed to Panay Avenue for my fourth acupuncture session. Long line again. I was happy to have C there with me. I also wanted him to see how simple and painless the procedure was. I want him to try it out too, when he's ready.

C took these pictures. I had to close my eyes while he took pictures because I was going to laugh and that might dislodge the needles. Hahaha.

Sister Liu was happy that my period had started. I asked her if it was okay already to get pregnant and she said yes! Yipee! I think she's not the type to just say yes if she wasn't confident things would work out okay.

While sitting in the waiting area, I overheard two girls to my right talking about combining acupuncture with intra-uterine injections (IUI) where they inject the husband's sperm into the uterus at the woman's fertile time. They were talking about some success stories they had heard of.

To my left, a woman was sharing with another woman how she had tried all sorts of expensive things to get pregnant and nothing worked. Till someone recommended acupuncture. Now she's trying for her second baby.

I kinda feel acupuncture really improved my health. My face has cleared up substantially. I had fairly clear skin before my first pregnancy. When I got pregnant, things must've gone haywire with my hormones because I (and my derma) couldn't keep up with the zits that were steadily taking turns at my face. Some balance must've been restored because the zits are starting to pack-up, with fewer reserve forces waiting in the wings. Let's see.

I also have another theory. I think the zit attack started when I got really really serious with running. I was training so hard, that I think my body may have started producing more male hormones. More muscle-building needed for what I was doing. The intense training may have started the imbalance. I remember reading articles that say women runners have a hard time getting pregnant because they don't ovulate as regularly as other women.

So C and I have decided that running will have to be put on hold till we're blessed with a baby and maybe one more, God-willing.

So many theories, so many treatment options. But only one God who decides to make things work. In His perfect time. We praise God for sending us to good doctors and for friends and family who share complementary options. We praise God for providing for our needs and even for our wants. Through all these things, we know that just His love is enough. Baby or no baby.

A Year In The Life: 14 February

Kiss me.

A Year In The Life: 13 February

Scout entertains us like no other.

Second LAT: 10 February (and accidental early Valentine celebration)

After two LITs (lymphocyte immunotherapy), we decided to go for our second LAT (lymphocyte autoimmune test) to check if the percentage has increased enough for us to get pregnant again. Our first LAT was in January.

Picked up C from work at around 1230pm and we had lunch at Canteen in Trilogy (resto review to be posted next).

Lunch was so good and coffee so strong, it set me in a really good mood for blood extraction. Haha.

This is where we go in PGH. The department name makes me feel like a lab mouse.

There's a small waiting area through those doors. In the morning, that area is SRO.

They have a spiffy reception table. Not bad for PGH! When I'm there, I often pray that more people will support PGH. I think the doctors and staff there are excellent and truly deserve a boost (in salaries, equipment).

On the blood extraction chair, smiling at the girl in the next chair.

Vials waiting to be filled with bbbblllloooodddd!!! Cue Dracula laugh here.

Kuya Reggie and Tita Au. Super super super caring and sweet staff of MRL and the team we go to on Saturdays at the Manila Endocrine Laboratory on Pedro Gil. This was the 3rd time that day that a patient had their picture taken with them. Their favorite first question: "buntis ka na?" or "are you pregnant already?"

Apparently a lot of the patients that week were pregnant.

For LAT, there is a "line". The process must be expensive because they run it in batches of 10. So let's say you come in for LAT and you're fourth on the list, you'll have to wait for six more girls to come for the test too. Only when they have 10 will they run the test. If you are the 11th, you wait till the next batch.

I'm fortunate because Reggie booked the 10th slot for me and I went for blood extraction when they had booked the 9th person already. Hopefully by Monday they'll have our test results. Praying our batch will have good results.

After blood extraction, we were thinking of watching a movie but decided not to because I had the sniffles. When you are going through LIT, you have to be very careful that your body remains strong. If your immune system is busy fighting off "real" disease, it won't react well to the lymphocytes being injected in you.

So instead of a movie, we went to UP to look around and have a light snack. We went to Chocolate Kiss (sorry I forgot to take pictures) and after having a slice of Dayap Chiffon and coffee, we walked to the next door art gallery and saw these two cats snoozing on for sale "antique" containers.

We love looking at art. Back when we were just dating, we'd spend a lot of time at art galleries just looking and trying to impress each other with our deep takes on pieces. Hahaha.

You know you're getting older when you start considering investing in, and not just looking, at art. C is in a really grown up mode now and the works of this young painter from Paete caught his eye.

 

Kite Flyers by Joseph Banez

Joseph Banez, according to the gallery's profile is a social pop realist. We love his use of bold (and happy) colors and his funny portrayal of everyday Pinoy scenes. Hoping that someday we will get to buy one of his paintings.

We were driving around when we saw this guy taking off his shirt and sunning his back. The picture is blurry because I took it from a huge distance and from inside the car. I didn't have the balls to come closer for a better picture.

We actually know this guy! He's deaf and teaches sign language at our former church. I used to be one of his students! He's now in UP, enrolled in the College of Fine Arts. He's really a cool guy.

This is one of the things we love about UP... you can just be who you are and do what you want to do (like take off your shirt by a field and enjoy the sun on your back) and no one will mind.

No visit to UP would be complete without a quick check on what's happening at the Sunken Garden. I don't know if it's true, but according to older UP folk, this area used to be street level, and that it still sinks by several centimeters every so often. I don't know how true that is so don't quote me!


This is UP Fair week so the Sunken Garden was full of students selling tickets to the fair, vendors selling roasted corn, cotton candy, and a whole range of street food.

 

We left for home shortly after we had this picture taken. It had been a good day.

Joggers on the left side of the road leading out of the campus. I miss running.

One of the huge acacia trees on the campus outskirts.

It was a really good day.

A Year In The Life: 12 February

Our coffee table on a typical morning. Quiet time, morning cup of joe, checking things to do, jotting down instructions to the sewer.